Across the Universe – Photoblog 2

 

Across the Universe – Photoblog

 

To kill a mocking muslim – The Colony 2

A school teacher lived close to our house. News came in that she performed Hajj. Mom bought a flower bouquet and asked me to drop it at her home. It took me a minute to reach her home which was full of people. Teacher was smelling of roses and was sitting in her courtyard encircled by neighbourhood women.

“Everyone should go to the holy land. I wish I never came back” she spent a week in front of airline counter for getting first return flight to the country

“I spent maximum time in the mosque praying for the welfare of ummah” she had excess baggage full of duty-free items for which she had to pay few thousand rupees

“I have made a resolution to conduct weekly classes on religious issues for all of you” she announced with profuse satisfaction. Women applauded her with gratitude.

“I hope I don’t have to go to the school and I have enough time” she wishfully mumbled

She was a secondary school teacher for as long as I could remember. It was rumored that she started getting secondary school teacher salary since she was a student in a secondary school. She turned into a ghost teacher after a transfer to the school which she did not like. Now the school operated with a ghost principal, ghost teacher and ghost students. Only building existed out of papers which was used as an annexe to the landlords’ home.

“Do you still pay to principal for not going” asked someone with concern
“Sigh. Yes. Thats why it took me too long to gather funds for hajj” replied the teacher
“Bastard!” someone could not hide her emotions for the Principal

Apart from the pay cut it was a win-win situation for everyone.

Neighbourhood got religious discourse at their doorsteps.

Teacher got the audience, attention, fulfilment, satiety and comfort she seeked.

Students got rid of her and spent their time playing and working in the fields: doing something meaningful.

Principal got his bribe though he kept losing his bit in speculative buying of rice and wheat.

And ministers got their kickback and reported all of above in their statements about rising literacy ratio in the country under their visionary leadership.

A tutor lived next to the ghost teacher’s house. Colony’s children gathered in her house in the evening and air filled with their rote learning chants. Neither the students nor their parents knew why they were taking tuition classes but it was followed like a ritual. She was a practicing muslim and class took a break for prayers. A lot of hindu students also came to the tuition classes. On a dewali tutor went to a hindu student of hers for some reason.

“Madam, we will be honored if you eat dewali sweets” devoted student found it necessary to make her tutor eat ceremonial sweets

“I don’t eat sweets and I have stomach ache and If you don’t accept both as an excuse then I am fasting” said the tutor

“But you just offered maghrib prayers” said the student

Tutor was caught in the middle. She protested but was eventually forced to eat sweets. After getting home she straight went to the sink, put her finger in her mouth and forced a vomiting. Hindu sweets were immediately flushed out of the body before it could adulterate her pious soul. People witnessing the incident praised her dutifulness and asked students to follow her footsteps.

 

Institutionalizing Insanity

Good to know that Parliament is doing some legislation after all as it approved ammendment to Sexual Harrasment Law. However the most interesting bit is Maulana Shirani and Maulana Haideri’s rhetoric that they were not against the bill, but wanted that only such women should seek protection who abided by an ‘Islamic dress code’ when they went out of their homes. Further Prof Ibrahim quoted from the Holy Quran that “it is incumbent upon Muslim women to keep their heads and chests covered and refrain from showing their ornaments and beauty before strange men”.

So from the samelines our holy senators interpreted a verdict that the women who dont cover their heads and chests should not be allowed to ask for justice incase of sexual harrasment. I am grateful that they stopped there and did not conclude that it is responsibility of practicing muslims like them to sexually harras such women for their audacity. My mind doubts if they think otherwise but my heart asks me to leave such judgement to God for He knows better.

But is not this what all of us are doing already to lesser extent, passing judgements based on the criteria we deem lawful at everyplace we go; at work, in the shopping mall, in the cinemas, at university, on the road.

She is wearing a capri, a sleeveless, tells you all about her character
She goes out for casual mixed gatherings, you know what happens there
She works for an advertising company, you know the environment there
She is living alone, how did her parents let her work outside their town

and suddenly all actions turn perfectly legitimate if the subject starts wearing a hijab

She is wearing hijab, tells you all about her character
She keeps her distance wherever she goes
She is maintaing her virtues well despite working in an advertising company
Poor girl is living alone to support her family

We with facial hair under the skin!

 

Into the Oblivion

“Mr. Saahil Umar Hayyat Khan. Whats with this name?” asked the interviewer

“Sir, My father was an artist and he christened me Saahil. My mother who was a practising muslim added Umar to it. It still left room for my grand grand father’s name who centuries ago came with muslim conquerors from mountainous regions. He was first in the family to do great things like horseriding, sword fighting and having a harem. His immaculate charachter inspired many nonmuslims to convert to Islam.”

“Why do you want to join Royal Corporation of his Sheikness?” asked the interviewer

“When our primary school teacher asked his students what they wanted to become, they replied saying either doctor or a pilot but I always wanted to be a retail supply chain analyst in rugged desert kingdom of his Sheikness. When I grew up and went to library I only picked up books related to logistics and distribution in retail industry”. Saahil Umar Hayyat got to know a night earlier that interview was for retail division.

“What are your strengths?” asked the interviewer

“Instinct for survival. I was the only student from my high school class who has done a Masters.” replied Saahil Umar Hayyat proudly

“Something of our use?” asked the interviewer

“I have grown professionally every year. Your company will be forced to outmatch my personal growth to retain me” explained Saahil Umar Hayyat.

“What are your weaknesses?” asked the other interviewer

Saahil Umar Hayyat was dumbstruck. He cursed himself for not thinking about the question earlier. Impromptu he tried rummaging but could only remember dirty jokes from the last night.

“Sir, My weakness is that I did not think about my weaknesses” said Saahil Umar Hayyat Khan helplessly

Interviewers were flabbergasted.

“Do you have any other job offer?” asked the interviewer

“You are the employer of my choice” replied Saahil Umar Hayyat

“I asked you if you have a job already” asked the interviewer again

Saahil Umar Hayyat’s country was in the middle of an insurgency which resulted in drying up of foreign investment and started a spiral of layoffs. People were eager to land a job outside the country.

“I had a final interview with a corporation. they were supposed to come back to me but the interviewer got kidnapped.” gulped Saahil Umar Hayyat

“Its a dangerous country but since you make such a cheap labor and equally cheap business case.” smiled interviewer

“You will be working with many different nationalities. Have you managed a conflict in a diverse environment?” asked the other interviewer

Saahil Umar Hayyat had done that. In his senior years he tried to referee between senior and junior students’ fight which erupted in a cricket match. He was the only one taken to the hospital. He showed wound marks on his forehead as an evidence of his conflict management skills. Interviewers were amused.

“Where do you see yourself after five years” asked the interviewer

Saahil Umar Hayyat was not particularly fond of this question. If he actually knew where he would be, he could have conducted a seminar on how to actuate that. In his mock interviews he was mocked by mock employer for his mocking answers to the mocking question. He was told that he should come up with a better story like the answer to the first question.

“Where do you see yourself after five years?” reminded the interviewer again

“In five years, I endeavor to have refined my strategic and personal skills. I intend to be a leading expert in retail management. After having proven myself as a senior manager, I hope to help shape the strategic direction of retail management. I could do this in any number of official roles. The important thing is that I will continue contributing my abilities in a challenging and rewarding environment.” checkmated Saahil Umar Hayyat in one gasp

“You have the job!” concluded the interviewer

Saahil Umar Hayyat was very happy to land himself a job in rugged desert kingdom of his Sheikness. Family and friends congratulated and acquaintances envied him. Elders who saw his liberal views on religion and society adversely, stood and greeted him when he went to say goodbye to them. They claimed that they knew that Saahil Umar Hayyat was destined for great things like working in Royal Corporation of his Sheikness in rugged desert Kingdom of his Sheikness.